CHICAGO–It has been more than 40 years since the Chicago Cubs last lost 100 games in a season under the fiery, argumentative, overbearing Leo Durocher. Monday, the Cubs took one step closer to reaching the century mark in losses, naming Alan Trammell the Cubs bench coach. Trammell managed to get the Tigers, who are currently in the World Series with largely the same roster of players whom Trammell managed to 119 losses, 90 losses, and 91 losses from 2003-2005. The move, in conjunction with the hiring of the fiery, argumentative, overbearing Lou Piniella, figures to have the Cubs in a position to break the record for losses in a season, set by the 1962 Mets, who lost 120 games.
The Cubs plan to make several other moves to help the Cubs break the record set by the 1962 Mets, as follows:
- Bring in Hall of Fame manager Casey Stengel, who managed the ‘62 Mets, as the Cubs’ third base coach. Stengel died in 1975.
- Get the sports psychologist from The Natural to tell the team before each game, “Winning is a disease, as contagious as polio.”
- Change the Cubs’ cap logo from the traditional “C” to a picture of this guy:

- Hire Coach Morris Buttermaker before he sobered up.
- Rent Seasons 1 and 2 of Lost from Netflix. In lieu of infield practice, show episodes before each game.
Wednesdays on ABC.

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