CHICAGO–The Chicago Cubs named Hall of Fame second baseman Ryne Sandberg the new manager of the Cubs’ Class A Peoria Chiefs. Upon hearing the news, Sandberg’s ex-wife Cindy White traveled to Peoria and rented an upscale condominium with a rotating bed and mirrors on the ceilings.
Sandberg at his Hall of Fame induction.
Sandberg takes over for former Cub catcher Jody Davis, who led the Chiefs to a 75-64 record last year, and who takes over the Class A Daytona Cubs in 2007. White takes over for Madame Lilly at the Maison LeCub, the most popular brothel in Peoria.
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Cindy White (maybe).
“This year, I want to top the 75-win season the Chiefs had last year,” Sandberg said.
“This year, I want to top off at least 75 Chiefs,” White quipped, unbuttoning her blouse. “How many guys are on the team?” she asked, applying pink lip gloss.
There is some speculation that the hiring of Sandberg is the first step on his path to becoming a major league manager. There is also some speculation that this is White’s first step on her path to become the next Paris Hilton.

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