YOKOHAMA, Jap.–Former Cubs slugger and superstar Sammy Sosa has finally bottomed out. Certainly, it was evident that his stock had significantly dropped when the Cubs dumped him on the Baltimore Orioles for Jerry Hairston, Jr. And certainly it didn’t help that none of the thirty Major League teams offered him a Major League contract last season.
But this is the bottom.
From the article:
According to an interview in Chunichi Sports, an unnamed player personnel official with the Yokohama Bay Stars called a recent attempt by Sosa’s agent to get him a roster spot with the team for a $500,000 salary as endeavoring “to perpetrate fraud on us.”
In addition, the bigwig expressed strong doubts about the former Cub’s character. Alluding to the still unproven rumor that Sosa took steroids as well as the corked bat incident, he smirked, “guys who use performance enhancing drugs and break the rules aren’t real sportsmen.”
He then elaborated, “besides, he’s fat now. Where would we play him? He would probably go home in two months.”
In the first paragraph, he called Sosa a criminal. In the second, he called him a juicing, cheating, bad sport. In the third, he called him a quitting fatty.
What has the world done to you, sweet prince?
Oh, Sammy. Just come home and find solace in the check-swinging arms of Mark Grace.
Hot as a Kerry Wood fastball.
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