Piniella to Bring Back Rothschild? Kermit to Bring Back Breakfast?

CHICAGO–With the hiring of Lou Piniella to manage the Cubs in 2007 and beyond, rumors have circulated that Piniella will bring back Larry Rothschild, who was Piniella’s pitching coach when Piniella coached the Cincinnati Reds to the 1990 World Championship. Rothschild has been known as the Grim Reaper of young pitching careers since coming to the Cubs.

Rich Hill, a young lefthander expected to be the Cubs’ rotation next year, heard the news on Monday. “It’s not official yet, though, is it? I mean. There’s still a chance that Rothschild won’t be back, right?” Hill asked.

Young southpaw Sean Marshall echoed Hill’s thoughts. “Don’t you think it’s possible that Greg [Maddux] will retire and come here? It’s not impossible, right? I have him on speed dial. We could ask him,” Marshall said.

Juan Mateo, a big righthander who showed flashes of promise with the Cubs this year, sobbed quietly in the corner of the press room and was unavailable for comment.

Upon hearing the news Carlos Marmol, a catcher converted to pitcher, immediately converted back to a catcher. “I had my shinguards on before I heard ‘Child,'” Marmol said. “I have a family to think about.”

If the Cubs do follow through with the threat and bring back Rothschild, Bad Kermit, a contributor to “Fire Lou Piniella!” is expected to bring back his breakfast along with part of last night’s dinner. The rumor is that the breakfast included part of a bagel, and the dinner consisted mainly of cajun shrimp and chicken pasta.


1 Response to “Piniella to Bring Back Rothschild? Kermit to Bring Back Breakfast?”

  1. 1 October 16, 2006 at 5:01 pm

    Sorry Kermit,

    Hey, I’ve always said that the best writing comes from pain. You should go ahead and start negotiating with all the top publishers today.

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