CHICAGO–Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry does not want to take any unnecessary chances with his new leadoff hitter Alfonso Soriano. After introducing Soriano to the Chicago media yesterday, Hendry requested that Soriano not attend the Winter Ball this year.
“I don’t want Alfonso to get hurt while he’s ‘getting jiggy with it,’ or ‘riding the train,’ or ‘doing the Hump’,” Hendry said, poorly attempting to let reporters see him Tootsee Roll. “I certainly don’t want to hear that he twisted an ankle ‘jumping around,’ or ‘getting down tonight’,” Hendry continued, waving his hands in the air as if he just did not care. “I just want him ‘staying alive’, if you catch my drift,” Hendry said, sliding to the left, sliding to the right, and letting reporters hear him clap his hands.
When asked whether Soriano would be allowed to attend the Spring Fling or Prom, Hendry said the Cubs medical staff would take a “wait and see” approach.