Months of Satire Wasted on Illiterate, Humorless Sox Fans

Published January 9, 2007 Meth is bad South Siders 1 Comment

Why do I love Sox fans? Here’s why.

From Baines2866:

I have seen some dumb ass cub fans before but holy shit, that’s topping the shit list right there. How can you want a manager fired when he hasn’t managed a game yet for you!? Is it hip in cub-dumb to be the first one on your block to say someone on the team (or closely related to the franchise in any way) sucks?

GUINNESS GUY 1: “Cub-dumb!” You see?! This Sox fan used a homophone with a totally unnecessary hyphen to call Cubs fans stupid!

GUINNESS GUY 2: A homophone?! But I thought they all hate homophones!

GUINNESS GUY 1: No! That’s just their manager!

GUINNESS GUY 2: Well, how do they even know this website is out there?!

GUINNESS GUY 1: Because, even when they win, they’re still obsessed with all things Cub!

GUINNESS GUY 2: So, using a homophone to make fun of Cubs fans because you’re more obsessed with them than your own team?! Brilliant!

I kid because I love. Thanks for the hits, guys. And the methamphetamines.

1 Response to “Months of Satire Wasted on Illiterate, Humorless Sox Fans”

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1 Sox Fans, Shocked to Learn that Internet Can Track Website Addresses, Frantically Try to Delete Porn « Fire Lou Piniella! Trackback on January 9, 2007 at 3:12 pm

The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

2. Neifi Perez

7. Mel Rojas

10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

12. Felix Heredia

13. Julian Tavarez

14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

124. Chad Fox

125. Adam Greenberg

126. Sandy Martinez

Fire Lou Piniella!