CHICAGO–It’s a good thing everyone in Chicago was watching the Bears dismantle the New Orleans Saints on Sunday, because if anyone had stuck around to listen to the “Meet Cubs Business Management” Seminar at the Cubs Convention, they would have heard the following:
Single-game tickets will increase $2 apiece, and the premium seats — the Dugout Box, Bullpen Box and Bleacher Box seats — will increase $5 apiece. 66-96 last year, and the ticket prices increase? Cubs fever! Get vaccinated!
Cubs management expects to begin installing the commemorative brick pavers in March. Fans who purchased the bricks will receive a grid map showing where their brick is located. Maps will also be sent to all of their friends, so that purchasers may be relentlessly mocked for connecting their name to the Cubs franchise for eternity.
The team is still working out details regarding a concert at the ballpark during the All-Star break and was “hopeful” to have the Dave Matthews Band perform. And by “perform,” management meant, “take a steaming dump in the middle of the infield.”
The seminar sounded like a great way to wrap up the Cubs Convention, especially after the Cubs had to cancel the originally planned three-hour-long, “Conversation with Ronnie Woo-Woo.” Did anyone go to this seminar?