God damn you, Chad Meyers. You were so abysmal at baseball, there are no good pictures of you on the internet. I doubt you’re this Chad Meyers:
And you don’t spell your name the same way as this terrifying Chad Myers:
So, I’ll just put up a picture of Michael Myers. But not a good picture of Michael Myers. This crappy, sad picture of an imitation Michael Myers with 80’s rock star hair and a slasher-flick-series-bending chainsaw (hey, guy in picture, you’re Michael Myers, not Leatherface; get yourself a butcher’s knife and show a little pride):
I chose this picture for its symbolism. Just as the guy in the picture doesn’t even know that the character he’s supposed to play stabbed his sister when he was but a boy and has never dabbled in cannibalism, Meyers was a crappy, imitation second baseman who didn’t know what he was doing, either. He backed up Mickey Morandini and Eric Young around the turn of the millennium, and he is the guy who actually made you yearn for Mickey Morandini and Eric Young.
You really need to be weak to have a higher OBP than a slugging percentage. But Meyers did it in two of the three years he was a Cub. In the other year, his SLG was only .004 higher than his OBP. Wow.
Someone mentioned to me a few weeks ago that the Cubs’ legendary “black hole” at third base since Ron Santo left has now shifted over to second base since Ryne Sandberg left. I’m beginning to agree, and Meyers makes the list as one of a horrendous group of second basemen who have manned the position since Sandberg.
Low Point: Remember that game against the White Sox in 2000 when Mark Grace got picked off in the 8th inning of a one-run game at Comiskey? Grace was most likely distracted by Meyer’s two whiffs earlier in the game. The Sox won that game and the division. Thanks a lot, Chad. You ruined the 2000 season.
Did You Know? In 2005, the folks at Cubsnet actually liked Meyers and advocated bringing him back.