#112: “Hanging” Chad Meyers

God damn you, Chad Meyers. You were so abysmal at baseball, there are no good pictures of you on the internet. I doubt you’re this Chad Meyers:

Do you like tacos?

And you don’t spell your name the same way as this terrifying Chad Myers:

Do you like wearing a skin suit?

So, I’ll just put up a picture of Michael Myers. But not a good picture of Michael Myers. This crappy, sad picture of an imitation Michael Myers with 80’s rock star hair and a slasher-flick-series-bending chainsaw (hey, guy in picture, you’re Michael Myers, not Leatherface; get yourself a butcher’s knife and show a little pride):

Do you like getting macheted in the face?

I chose this picture for its symbolism. Just as the guy in the picture doesn’t even know that the character he’s supposed to play stabbed his sister when he was but a boy and has never dabbled in cannibalism, Meyers was a crappy, imitation second baseman who didn’t know what he was doing, either. He backed up Mickey Morandini and Eric Young around the turn of the millennium, and he is the guy who actually made you yearn for Mickey Morandini and Eric Young.

You really need to be weak to have a higher OBP than a slugging percentage. But Meyers did it in two of the three years he was a Cub. In the other year, his SLG was only .004 higher than his OBP. Wow.

Someone mentioned to me a few weeks ago that the Cubs’ legendary “black hole” at third base since Ron Santo left has now shifted over to second base since Ryne Sandberg left. I’m beginning to agree, and Meyers makes the list as one of a horrendous group of second basemen who have manned the position since Sandberg.

Low Point: Remember that game against the White Sox in 2000 when Mark Grace got picked off in the 8th inning of a one-run game at Comiskey? Grace was most likely distracted by Meyer’s two whiffs earlier in the game. The Sox won that game and the division. Thanks a lot, Chad. You ruined the 2000 season.

Did You Know? In 2005, the folks at Cubsnet actually liked Meyers and advocated bringing him back.


5 Responses to “#112: “Hanging” Chad Meyers”

  1. 1 Big Rob February 1, 2007 at 1:07 pm

    Thats some funny stuff there. I love the CubsNet find.

    Keep this up. You are helping me get through these last few weeks before spring training starts !!

  2. 2 Wrigleyville February 1, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    You’re not badmouthing Mickey Morandini, are you? He went to IU, as did Kevin Orie.

    Go Hoosiers!

  3. 3 Bad Kermit February 1, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Of course not. I can honestly say that Mickey Morandini is better than Chad Meyers.

  4. 4 TK February 10, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    And what’s sad: I own a Chad Meyers jersey.

  5. 5 Bad Kermit February 10, 2007 at 5:23 pm

    Sad? Or awesome? No, you’re right. Sad.

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The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

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59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

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65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

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68. Willie Greene

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70. Damon Berryhill

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72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

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76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

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84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

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88. Jose Nieves

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90. Chad Hermansen

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95. Howard Johnson

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105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

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