MIAMI–Minutes after the Chicago Bears fell to the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl XLI, Rex Grossman signed with the Chicago Cubs. The Cubs, seeking to improve their outfield defense, signed the erratic Bears quarterback to throw simulated pop-ups to outfielders Alfonso Soriano, Matt Murton, and Jacque Jones. Grossman will gather the outfielders together next weekend for a game of 500.
“Three hundred points!”
Cubs general manager Jim Hendry was excited about the addition. “Rex was throwing some towering pop-ups during the Super Bowl, and I thought he’d be put to his best use as a pop-up simulator,” Hendry said. “I’m also going to have him work with [Jacque] Jones. I figure if they can find a happy medium between Jones firing the ball into the ground five feet in front of him and Grossman lofting the ball 600 feet in the air, we might find ourselves a serviceable right fielder. Or a serviceable quarterback. Or maybe both. Or possibly neither. Christ, I don’t know. I’m hammered.”