#107: Damon “Yeah, I Played Center for the Red Sox, But I Didn’t Look Like Jesus” Buford

Was Ed Lynch even trying to field a competitive team by 2000? I’m guessing the Damon Buford signing was one of the reasons listed when Lynch was sent packing in the summer of 2000. I imagine the conversation between Andy MacPhail and Lynch went something like this:

ANDY: So, I think you know why you’re here, Ed.

ED: Because Willie Greene is playing third?

ANDY: Well, now that you mention it, yeah. That’s part of it.

ED: Is it because of EY?

ANDY: Good point. I forgot about him. Yeah, him, too.

ED: Well, I promise we’ll get better.

ANDY: It’s too late for that now, Ed.

ED: But, Andy-

ANDY: Damon Buford, Ed? Damon freaking Buford? I mean, I’ve defended a lot of your moves to my bosses, but how do you expect me to explain my way around Damon Buford?

ED: He’s had some okay years-

ANDY: No, Ed. He hasn’t. You’re fired, Ed. Get the hell out of my office.

And so Ed Lynch’s reign as the Cubs’ G.M. was over. Damon Buford’s reign as the Cubs centerfielder was not, however. Buford fumbled around in the outfield and flailed away at the plate for two years at the turn of the millennium.

Tall, dark, and swinging from his ass.

Is this seriously a baseball card?

The most maddening part of Buford’s game was his Willie Mayes Hays (circa Major League II) conviction that he was a power hitter. He wasn’t. But feel free to keep screwing yourself into the ground on your ridiculous swings, Damon. We’re in a hurry to get to 65-97.

Buford also gets negative points for being one of the stopgap centerfielders to suck so badly that the Cubs had to rush Corey Patterson’s development and render him useless. More negative points for attending Southern Cal.

Low Point: May 16, 2001. Buford was released from the Cubs because Gary Matthews, Jr. was a better option in center. Ouch.

Did You Know? Buford’s father Don also played for Southern Cal and in the majors for the White Sox and the Orioles. He also would have made this list had he played for the Cubs.


4 Responses to “#107: Damon “Yeah, I Played Center for the Red Sox, But I Didn’t Look Like Jesus” Buford”

  1. 1 Penis February 9, 2007 at 10:49 pm

    Fred Lynn was a pussy? What about Tom Seaver? Maybe the problem is that the Cubs suck ass.

  2. 2 Bad Kermit February 15, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I doubt “Penis” is even your real name.

  3. 3 Yo mama May 12, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    Ya, he was the reason the Cubs haven’t won’t a World Series in over 100 years. 😂

  1. 1 #85: Ismael “Exxon” Valdez « Fire Lou Piniella! Trackback on February 28, 2007 at 10:32 am

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Older Posts

The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

7. Mel Rojas

8. Jeff Blauser

9. Antonio Alfonseca

10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

12. Felix Heredia

13. Julian Tavarez

14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

124. Chad Fox

125. Adam Greenberg

126. Sandy Martinez

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