Jeff Fassero, We Knew Ye Too Well

Farewell, Jeff Fassero. May your days be as long as your 38-pitch innings. May your nights be as quiet as Wrigley Field after you blow a five-run lead. May the road always rise to meet you, like a mediocre hitter’s bat meeting your fastball and driving it out of the park. May your fortunes be as many as your chins, and may you live as many years as your ranking on the Bottom 126.

Bubble gum and pitching at the same time? BRILLIANT!

The thing I’ll remember most about Jeff was his obsession with bubble gum. That and the horrible pitching.

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6 Responses to “Jeff Fassero, We Knew Ye Too Well”


  1. 1 al February 11, 2007 at 9:12 am

    something about the number 13.. one of the next people to wear if after fassero.. neifi..*pukes*

  2. 3 Bad Kermit February 11, 2007 at 11:19 am

    Actually, YOU should give ME some credit, as I wrote the article a day before you made that comment.

  3. 4 JD, Too February 11, 2007 at 3:55 pm

    Go back to NSBB, Sulleymoon, and take yer whinin’ with ye.

  4. 5 Bad Kermit February 11, 2007 at 4:12 pm

    Oh, snap! I meandered over to the 4-letter site to see why there was a sudden infiltration. They’re also crying that I used “their” picture of Fassero. Do a Google Image Search of “Jeff Fassero.” Which picture would you use? How self-centered can they get?

  5. 6 JD, Too February 11, 2007 at 4:56 pm

    I’d use the Expos baseball card one. It makes him look like an angel.

    Seriously, though, you should just be honored that they grace your blog with their presence. If their mothers caught them looking at your site, with some of the foul language you’ve used, then they could all end up out of the basements and onto the streets. It’s a pretty big risk they’re taking.


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Older Posts

The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

7. Mel Rojas

8. Jeff Blauser

9. Antonio Alfonseca

10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

12. Felix Heredia

13. Julian Tavarez

14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

124. Chad Fox

125. Adam Greenberg

126. Sandy Martinez

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