MESA, Ariz.–New Cubs manager Lou Piniella will stress fundamentals during Spring Training. According to Piniella:
Fundamentals will be an important part of camp, and baserunning will be an important part of camp, [as well as] making sure we can bunt and making sure we can field our positions. You work at these things, and if you work and prepare yourself, you have a much better chance to win baseball games, and that’s what I’m here for.
After Piniella’s comments, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry sat at a press conference consulting a dictionary and said, “I think I’m really looking forward to a fresh start. Fresh. Freshen. Freshet. We’re looking forward… forewarn, forewaste… to that first day and putting [last year] totally behind us forever. Forevermore. Foreverness. Forewarm. Ah! Here it is! ‘Fundamental’! It says, ‘noun: the harmonic component of a complex wave that has the lowest frequency and commonly the greatest amplitude.’ Oh, [expletive], Lou’s drunk again.”