Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: February 19, 2007

My God do I have a headache, and we haven’t played a single game. The fellas at Wrigleyville23 sent another picture of me.

Piniella reams Hendry.

There. You see that? When Prior bends over you can totally tell he’s not packing testicles.”

I’m so pissed that I’m starting to wear my hat like a tee-ball coach. You know those guys who wear it like they don’t want it touching any part of their head? That’s me right now. By the way, it looks like Hendry has dropped some weight. I guess having a grabber is a pretty good diet for a guy that normally checks in at 350. Anyhow, here’s what’s going on in Spring Training:

  • Everyone has almost arrived at camp, according to Jabba the Hutt. We’re all just waiting on Ramirez and a couple of minor league guys. Hendry’s pissed that Ramirez isn’t here yet, because he was supposed to pick up Krispy Kremes on the way in.
  • Local boob Paul Sullivan points out that I’m getting too old for this shit. He also points out that Floyd almost rounded up some of his “homies” and “got medieval” on John Thomson for “talking shit” about Floyd’s “skills.” Is that how the kids are saying it?
  • Where the fuck are these guys getting books? If Hill was trying to break into the rotation, admitting that he’s reading Thinking Body, Dancing Mind probably wasn’t a good idea. I wonder if they have any good Broadway shows in Iowa. Pansy.
  • It would be wise if Hendry could get this contract with Zambrano done. With Hill prancing around out there and Prior’s elbow bound to snap at any second, we don’t need anymore distractions at camp.
  • It must have been a slow news day at the Daily Herald, since this guy couldn’t think of anything to write about other than that he doesn’t like the word “Cubbies.” I wonder if he’d like the phrase “shove it up your assy.”

Well, I gotta get back. Ohman and Eyre are having a milk-chugging competition, and I want to see which one of them pukes first. And I’m going to make him drink it. Ha! Just kidding. I’ll make the other one drink it.

-Sweet Uncle Lou


16 Responses to “Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: February 19, 2007”

  1. 1 JD, Too February 19, 2007 at 3:19 pm

    Screw YOU!

    I support Julie!

  2. 2 Bad Kermit February 19, 2007 at 3:21 pm

    Don’t support her all by yourself. You’ll hurt your back.

  3. 3 JD, Too February 19, 2007 at 3:30 pm

    You don’t have to tell me how to do it. I’ve broken MANY slumps. Sometimes I even go with the preventive method. You wanna nip a slump in the bud.

    I support Julie!

    With my legs!

  4. 4 Slaky February 19, 2007 at 3:34 pm

    I like this blog because I can still be Slaky over here.

    However, my posts still suck. Go figure.

  5. 5 Slaky February 19, 2007 at 3:35 pm

    Also, as I start to take over this blog with post-whoring awesomeness, I think it would be sweet if you wrote a BCB themed blog. About how you support…some nameless asshole…that no one cares about.

  6. 6 Bad Kermit February 19, 2007 at 3:36 pm

    Not only that, but you can positive as much as you want. You won’t really fint in, though.

    I’m glad 5 people will understand that sentence.

  7. 7 Bad Kermit February 19, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Slaky, if you want FLP! to officially support you, consider it done.

    I support Slaky!

  8. 8 Slaky February 19, 2007 at 4:02 pm

    Thanks Kermit. Your support means so much to me that I decided (wait for it) that I’m going to keep posting!

    You’re welcome!

  9. 9 JD, Too February 19, 2007 at 4:07 pm

    I consider it MY welcome.

    I support all that Julie stands for!

  10. 10 CPT February 19, 2007 at 4:16 pm

    Fuck Slaky, I’m bringing my one man support me campaign to FLP!

    Support ME!

  11. 11 Bad Kermit February 19, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    Guys, guys. We can all support each other. Does that sound okay? Who wants an ice cream?

  12. 12 JD, Too February 19, 2007 at 4:30 pm

    I just started a blog.

    I support positive!

  13. 13 JD, Too February 19, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    Nevermind. I thought that would link to my BANNED screen.

    I still support Sulleymoon!

  14. 14 Bad Kermit February 19, 2007 at 4:34 pm

    Anyone banned from the 4-letter site is all the more welcome here. Unless you’re a humorless douche.

  15. 15 CPT February 19, 2007 at 4:41 pm

    What if you’re just a douche?

    Support each other? That just might work.

    Shirtless hugs for everyone!

  16. 16 Slaky February 19, 2007 at 6:47 pm

    I just want to support something. I change my support from Slaky to CT.

    I support CT!

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