#93: Delino “Oh, I’m Afraid the Deflector” DeShields “Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive”

The collective groan you heard coming from the North Side of Chicago in December of 2001 probably came right around the time when Delino DeShields was inexplicably signed for the 2002 season. The Cubs had gotten decent production out of DeShields in the second half of the 2001 season. Decent production, that is, if you could afford to have your second baseman powerless, immobile, and playing with a baseball glove made of a block of salt.  The Cubs could not.

Delino DeShields…zombified.

Cool picture! What year are you? Sophomore?

Why do the Cubs insist on doing this? They got more than they could have hoped for from DeShields when they picked him up in 2001 after he was released by Baltimore. Like they did with Rusch. Like they did with Gaetti. Why don’t they ever just cut bait and run after getting seasons like those?

Instead, the Cubs brought DeShields back in 2002. Of course the fans hated him. Of course he sucked. Of course he lost his starting job by mid-May. And so ended the DeShields era as a Cub. DeShields also, by the way, feeds into the theory that second base since Ryno left has been nearly as big a problem as third base since Santo left. Think about it. Or don’t.

Low Point: June 28, 2002. The Cubs jump out to an 8-0 lead on the White Sox in the first three innings of a game on the South Side. No thanks to DeShields. In his three at-bats in the first three innings, he lines out, strikes out swinging, and strikes out looking with 2 on and 2 out. In the next three innings, the game changes, and the Sox score 10 unanswered. DeShields, however, does not change, as he strikes out swinging before being replaced by Mark Bellhorn in the 8th. Cubs lose 13-9, and drop 2 of 3 to the Sox in that trip.

Did You Know? In 1993, DeShields was traded straight up for Pedro Martinez. Martinez went on to win 196 games after the trade. DeShields ended up on this list.


14 Responses to “#93: Delino “Oh, I’m Afraid the Deflector” DeShields “Will Be Quite Operational When Your Friends Arrive””

  1. 1 Slaky February 20, 2007 at 11:43 am

    I like this site, you’re funny. Like Dane Cook.

    Ok, just kidding you’re actually funny.

    Here’s the thing though, Damian Jackson HAS to make your list. I hated him more than DeShields. Don’t forget Rey Ordonez. Holy crap that guy was a Cub. I just sharted.

  2. 2 Bad Kermit February 20, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    “You’ll find out…”

    “That doesn’t even make sense!”

    “You just leave that to me.”

  3. 3 al February 20, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    dont forget his goofy batting helmet with the dual earflaps..probably added to his suckiness

  4. 4 JD, Too February 20, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Delino HAD to wear that two-flapped helmet. He was a switch-hitter. Do you expect him to look at the mound to see if there was a righty or lefty pitching? Delino likes surprises.

  5. 5 bozos72 February 20, 2007 at 6:00 pm

    That game was also one of Wood’s lowest moments as a Cub. He’s the asshole who started the game and decided to make it interesting.

    There were about 6 of us, maybe 8, who went to that game thanks to tickets in the upper deck bought by a Sux fan buddy. Of course, we missed the first 2 and a half innings and had to just sit there as Kerry Wood decided to do his best Scott Sanderson imperssonation.

    I ended up going to the next game with a different Sux fan buddy. I gave up masochism right there and then.

  6. 6 CT February 20, 2007 at 10:18 pm

    I do not support Delino DeSheilds.

  7. 7 Wampa February 20, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    If you guys think you had it bad in 1988 I had to watch him here in Rockford, IL as well…even as a minor leaguer I hated him and never know why until he came to the Cubs..

  8. 8 Martin Brady February 23, 2007 at 3:44 pm

    DeShields was re-signed by the Cubs in 2002 because he hit .276 for them in 2001 and stole 12 out of 13 bases. He’d had a terrific year in 2000 for the Orioles, and the Cubs were hoping he could recapture that form. He had 1,548 hits and stole 463 bases in his career and his .268 lifetime average isn’t the worse. And he earned about $30M. Maybe it’s the Cubs, not the players they get. They put on that uniform and and turn instantly bad.

  9. 9 Bad Kermit February 23, 2007 at 3:48 pm

    You’re related to Luis Salazar AND Delino DeShields?! Weird.

  10. 10 JD, Too February 24, 2007 at 9:23 am

    Martin, why does it matter how much these guys made over their career? And, yes, at one time, Deshields was good. He wasn’t with the Cubs. You trying to defend Delino Deshields as a Cub is sad. Go back to NSBB and tell your fellow basement dwellers how you put Kermit in his place.

    I think Deshields married and divorced a white woman. The golddiggin’ blonde-haired, blue-eyed devil took half his money, I bet. Let him see his kids, WHORE!

  11. 11 RockTheIvy February 28, 2007 at 1:18 am

    Brilliant title, excellent site!

  12. 13 Pre March 5, 2007 at 11:19 pm

    I wonder if some nerd has put together a stat on weak ground balls hit to the second baseman. He was awesome at that.

    He was also in the top 10 in caught stealing 8 times over his career.

  13. 14 Bad Kermit March 6, 2007 at 8:22 am

    I think a five-hopper to the second baseman should just be called a “Juan Pierre.”

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The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

7. Mel Rojas

8. Jeff Blauser

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10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

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14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

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