Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: February 21, 2007

Let’s just get this out of the way.

Piniella & Soriano on SI Cover

Yes, that’s me and Soriano. Yes, I’m fucking sexy. Yes, I stole the barrel I’m sitting on from one of those annoying fucking kids who hit them with drum sticks on the El. Yes, I’m going to kick Albert Chen in the penis for not picking us to win the World Series. Any other questions? Too bad. Q & A is over, you little bastards.

Ramirez finally decided to show up for camp. How nice of him to show up “on time.” And by “on time,” I mean “late.” What these cocksuckers in camp don’t understand is that they are now on “Piniella Time.” And Piniella Time means that whenever I have to wake up before noon to coach baseball, you’d better bet your sweet ass that there will be 25 or more guys there ready to be coached, or the Neifi is gonna hit the fan.

On a serious note, there’s a link to the right to donate to the 1st Touch Foundation, started by Derrek Lee in his search to find a cure for his daughter’s ailment. It’s a great cause, and Lee is a great man and player.

Check out what I said yesterday.

One of the things I did tell this team is that I’ve been fortunate to have some very talented teams in my career as a manager, and there’s as much talent in this clubhouse as any team I’ve ever managed. And I meant it.

News flash: I didn’t mean it. Shit, I won 116 games in Seattle. In one year. This team will be lucky to win that many by the time my contract is up, and that’s assuming we get off to a quick start. Also, Paul Sullivan, thanks for the headline, “Piniella Stresses Fun, Achievement.” Not only does that headline suck, but it is also so flambuoyantly gay that it glows in the dark.

Speaking of which, I have to go watch Prior’s next throwing session. Holy shit we’re a week into camp and the guy ain’t hurt yet. You kids knock on wood, and I’m going to go knock on Wood. Ha!

-Sweet Uncle Lou

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17 Responses to “Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: February 21, 2007”


  1. 1 JD, Too February 21, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Lars Anderson writes for SI? What kind of name is Lars?

  2. 2 bocaj February 21, 2007 at 5:00 pm

    Don’t know why i decided to tell you now Kermey but…i love that little pop-up thing that appears over hyperlinks :0

  3. 3 bocaj February 21, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    you cut my comment off so here it is again:

    Don’t know why i decided to tell you now Kermey but…i love that little pop-up thing that appears over hyperlinks :0

  4. 5 Bad Kermit February 21, 2007 at 5:06 pm

    Huh? I didn’t cut your comment off. I’d like to take credit for the pop-up thing, but wiser folks than I invented and integrated it.

  5. 6 CT February 21, 2007 at 8:52 pm

    First you take credit for getting Dusty fired, and now you’re taking credit for integration?

    What an ego…

  6. 7 Northside Fro Dog February 21, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    Si jinx once again. The Bears were on the cover right before the Super Bowl and lost. Anybody who says the Colts were on there too are right but they were on there before the Bears were. This is crap. I am just very superstitious. Look at the past history of SI and find out why I am like that. History says it all.

  7. 8 Bad Kermit February 22, 2007 at 12:21 am

    At least SI didn’t pick the Cubs to win, so maybe that’ll offset the curse.

  8. 9 JD, Too February 22, 2007 at 12:34 am

    Wasn’t Michael Jordan on the cover a few times? Imagine the numbers if he never would’ve been…

    Are you doing it?

    Yeah. Those are SICK!

  9. 10 Bad Kermit February 22, 2007 at 12:37 am

    JD, do you ever sleep, or do you just hesitate?

  10. 11 JD, Too February 22, 2007 at 8:27 am

    I had just gotten back from a high school basketball game(me and Sulleymoon had an awesome time) and had to check my favorite website before I went to bed.

    Then, I decided to check this one, too, and saw new replies.

  11. 12 Slaky February 22, 2007 at 8:49 am

    I see CT has taken himself away from Desipio and decided not to give a grand post #1908, which would of course mostly be about me.

    What a coward.

    And the real jinx would be if they put Alfonso and Lou on the cover of Madden. We’d be truly fucked. Instead of the 74 wins we were going to get, it’ll spiral all the way down to 70. Yikes!

  12. 13 JD, Too February 22, 2007 at 9:39 am

    Emmitt Smith just flipped you the bird.

    Sulleymoon called Emmitt Smith immature and reported him to the mods.

  13. 14 Bad Kermit February 22, 2007 at 5:05 pm

    Yeah, where the hell is CT? If he’s waiting to be approved, he can spend his time posting here.

  14. 15 bocaj February 22, 2007 at 6:23 pm

    dude i used a > but facing the other way on my smiley face and then it cut off my post; i know it wasn’t u, im realll sorrry for blaming u dawg…but im still pissed cause it was very funny, believe me!

  15. 16 CT February 22, 2007 at 10:29 pm

    Bad Kermit, you are a wise man. I haven’t gotten my new ID yet. Do you know how many times I’ve almost wasted my 1908th post? Why do all you fuckers have to make your last one into dramatic epics? Now I’ve got to follow suit.

  16. 17 Bad Kermit February 23, 2007 at 12:23 am

    CT, CAN YOU HEAR ME? ARE THERE ANY MESSAGES YOU WANT ME TO RELAY? ANY LOVED ONES YOU NEED ME TO CONTACT?


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