#89: Ross “Dropped a Big” Gload “In His Pants”

Ross Gload, you lied to us. You were a hot prospect we got from the Marlins in 2000 who tricked us into thinking you were crap, so we didn’t protect you and lost you to Colorado. As it turns out, you developed into a pretty damn good fourth outfielder while you were in Chicago. On the South Side. You bastard.

Ross Gload

We don’t miss you. We like Cliff Floyd.

While Gload is sitting at home polishing his World Series ring, I wonder if he ever thinks about that team on the North Side of Chicago who gave him his first Major League at-bats. And I wonder if he feels bad for “rewarding” them by hitting .197 and slugging .355. And then I wonder why I’m wondering about Ross Gload polishing his ring. And then I get confused and angry and yell at my dogs. Thanks a lot, Ross.

Low Point: In 2000, in games in which Gload made an appearance, the Cubs went 3-15, good for a meager .167 winning percentage. I blame Gload.

Did You Know? This past offseason, the Sox traded Gload to the Kansas City Royals for another one-time Cub prospect, Andy Sisco.


7 Responses to “#89: Ross “Dropped a Big” Gload “In His Pants””

  1. 1 CT February 24, 2007 at 8:36 pm

    So now nobody’s hanging around here?


  2. 2 Bad Kermit February 24, 2007 at 10:06 pm

    Andy told me to ignore you.

  3. 3 Slaky February 25, 2007 at 4:21 am

    If someone can recommend a great cold medicine, that would be swell.

  4. 4 JD, Too February 25, 2007 at 9:27 am

    I usually take Alavert. It’s an allergy medicine, but that’s what I take. I pop a 24 hour one, wait about an hour and then take some cheap 4 hour cold medicine. Then I just take the cold medicine every 4 hours. I do this whether it’s a sinus problem or a cold. I’m usually done with my sickness after a day. And drink lots of orange juice, get plenty of rest, and don’t listen to any depressing music.

  5. 5 CT February 25, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    I’m back baby!

  6. 6 JD, Too February 25, 2007 at 1:02 pm

    Your first post on Desipio after a new handle has to be better than your last post of your previous handle. You got that memo, right? Start pondering, CT. I want to laugh then cry then laugh again then fart then become aroused then laugh some more then cry and finally have a sense of affirmation for my life choices.

  7. 7 Slaky February 25, 2007 at 2:37 pm

    There’s nothing more arousing then the smell of one’s own farts.

    Second most arousing: a handjob from a midget.

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Older Posts

The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

7. Mel Rojas

8. Jeff Blauser

9. Antonio Alfonseca

10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

12. Felix Heredia

13. Julian Tavarez

14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

124. Chad Fox

125. Adam Greenberg

126. Sandy Martinez

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