#88: Jose “Wishes He Was Valentin, But is Just” Nieves

Is it time yet for another crappy middle infielder? I think so. I give you Jose Nieves.

Jose Nieves on a stick.

He’s like Jose Valentin. Only with no power, a worse mustache, and similarly bad defensive ability.

Jose Nieves was one of those “no stick, great glove” guys, only he forgot about the “great glove” part. In fact, he pretty much forgot a glove entirely. Seriously. In 1999, Nieves committed 16 errors at shortstop in only 52 games. That is outstandingly bad. That is “just grow a tree out at short and hope the ball runs into it” bad. That’s, well, Jose Valentin bad. It probably doesn’t help Nieves’s “Bottom 126” case that he looks and plays defense like Valentin, one of my least favorite human beings of all time. Or perhaps it does?

Low Point: Hey, Jose. Word of advice. When Daniel Garibay goes 7 innings, strikes out 6 Colorado Rockies, and only gives up 1 earned run, that’s a game you need to win. Going 0-3 with 3 strikeouts doesn’t do anyone any good, which is what Nieves did on August 1, 2000.

Did You Know? Nieves once slew a Giant. It was the highlight of his career.

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17 Responses to “#88: Jose “Wishes He Was Valentin, But is Just” Nieves”


  1. 1 JD, Too February 25, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    Look at those names from Jose’s Giant-slaying game.

    How am I still a cub fan?

  2. 2 Slaky February 25, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    I was thinking the same thing. What also stuck out from that article (screw you Kermit for making us relive anything from those years, my GOD): “just the Cubs’ eighth win in 24 road games this season.”

    Truly, the sign of a great team.

  3. 3 CT February 25, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    Jeebus, the only thing that Giant Killer game needed was Leo Gomez’s involvement. I know he already clocked in at 118, but is there any chance Gomez makes the list twice? I really despised Gomez for some reason.

  4. 4 Bad Kermit February 25, 2007 at 4:26 pm

    You think YOU guys have it bad? I’m the one who has to go through the last couple decades of Cubs baseball and decide whether or not to include guys like Donovan Osbourne.

  5. 5 CT February 25, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    Never mind, I just looked up that 2000 team on baseball reference. Eric Young? Willie Greene? Damon Buford? Leo Gomez was too good for that team. Ed Lynch should be shot into the sun.

  6. 6 Bad Kermit February 25, 2007 at 4:32 pm

    I think I will have covered about 60% of the 2000 25-man roster by the time this list is done. That team was horrendous.

  7. 7 CT February 25, 2007 at 5:13 pm

    I look at their 65-97 record and think “putrid”. I look at the roster and wonder how on earth they won 65 games.

  8. 8 Bad Kermit February 25, 2007 at 10:26 pm

    Since you’re basically guaranteed to win 60 and lose 60, I’m surprised that they only won 5.

  9. 9 Slaky February 25, 2007 at 10:35 pm

    First person that brings up voting (besides me) gets a paddlin’.

  10. 10 Bad Kermit February 25, 2007 at 10:40 pm

    Yeah, you know Desipio is slow when they’re arguing about voting in February. Not arguing about voting in February. Arguing in February about voting. There. Mom would be proud.

  11. 12 Slaky February 26, 2007 at 8:39 am

    Anyone notice that the people arguing about it are Tonk, Kurt and RD? Notice any similarities there? Good times.

  12. 13 JD, Too February 26, 2007 at 9:15 am

    You forgot MikeC. But, yeah, I did notice that.

  13. 14 Slaky February 26, 2007 at 9:17 am

    Mike C is now from Argentina. I made it so.

    Anyway, looking forward to what Lou has to say about Mark P. Come on Lou, we all know you’re babying him. Fess up.

  14. 15 CT February 26, 2007 at 10:37 am

    Yeah, but RD and Kurt are US citizens, I believe. You suck at debating Slaky.

  15. 16 Bad Kermit February 26, 2007 at 10:44 am

    Don’t say that. Slaky is a master debater.

  16. 17 Slaky February 26, 2007 at 11:36 am

    Actually, I just beat off a lot. Averagely.


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Older Posts

The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

7. Mel Rojas

8. Jeff Blauser

9. Antonio Alfonseca

10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

12. Felix Heredia

13. Julian Tavarez

14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

124. Chad Fox

125. Adam Greenberg

126. Sandy Martinez

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