#87: Jeff Huson, “We Have a Problem”

Jeff Huson’s career slugging percentage is nine points lower than his career on base percentage, meaning Huson is the Major League equivalent of the kid in Pony League who went up to bat praying that either (a) the pitcher threw him 4 straight balls, (b) he could fall down, cry, and pretend that he got beaned on the first pitch he sees, or (c) the field would explode in a brilliant flash of blinding light before he stepped into the batters’ box.

Skinny Jeff Huson

An emaciated Jeff Huson takes his warm-up swings.

It takes a near Zen-like commitment to being weak to slug below your on-base percentage. It takes dedication, aversion to weights, inability to square up a baseball, and a lot of sand kicked in one’s face. Huson had all of those things. Hence, 8 home runs in a 12-year career. Guess how many came as a Cub? Do you even need to check to see if you’re right?

Low Point: Huson didn’t hit a home run from 1998 until the end of his career in 2000. He appeared in 217 games in that time, and had 626 at-bats. To put that in perspective, that’s 78 games longer and 232 at-bats more than Paul Bako’s longest home run drought.

Did You Know? Last year, Huson was a part-time color analyst for the Colorado Rockies. That actually makes me feel good about my job.


9 Responses to “#87: Jeff Huson, “We Have a Problem””

  1. 1 Slaky February 26, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    I just found out Cubbie Julie has a blog site. I can’t read this anymore. She has all the positive I need.

    Up yours Kermit.

  2. 2 CT February 26, 2007 at 1:00 pm

    When Desipio turned me out into the cold, dark wasteland of internet, Fire Lou Pinella was here for me.

    I support Kermit.

  3. 3 Bad Kermit February 26, 2007 at 1:01 pm

    Did you see the number of comments she got on an OSCARS thread? Wow. She should call her blog, “The Cubby Bare.”

    I’m all for comment quality, not quantity. Keep it up, assholes.

  4. 4 CT February 26, 2007 at 2:41 pm

    You need to get one of those things that shows us who has left the most comments. Then Slaky can become a comment whore on this site too.

  5. 5 Bad Kermit February 26, 2007 at 2:44 pm

    I wish it would at least show you when there’s new comments, but WordPress is a fickle whore.

  6. 6 JD, Too February 26, 2007 at 2:58 pm

    When I was younger, I thought Jeff Huson would turn out to be a really good player because he had the same first name as me. I even made him a player on my Baseball Stars team. He didn’t have any power there, either.

  7. 7 Bad Kermit February 26, 2007 at 3:01 pm

    Your first name is Fucking?

  8. 8 JD, Too February 26, 2007 at 3:26 pm

    It’s Swedish.

  9. 9 Slaky February 26, 2007 at 5:32 pm

    Let’s not have a post count. Then I can post a lot, but since you’ll pass over or forget most of them, it’ll be like I hardly post at all.

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The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

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5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

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15. Mark Prior

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23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

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33. Brant Brown

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35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

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38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

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42. Mike Remlinger

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55. Darrin Jackson

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58. Curtis Wilkerson

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60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

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63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

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75. Jim Sundberg

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78. Rey Ordonez

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80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

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