I think there may be a fair number of you who have “The Bottom 126” tagged who may not have gotten the news that The Bottom 126 (along with the rest of this crazy operation) has moved to Hire Jim Essian! The content at the new domain is going to be virtually identical to the content here, so please update your bookmarks. Oh, and I also tagged this entry with every other tag, just in case you have one of those tagged. Hope to see you at the new site.
Archive for March, 2007
Okay, you guys. First of all, with all this “Jim Essian” nonsense, I didn’t get a chance for a Friday roundup. Instead, you can just go over to Desipio and get the same insulting effect.
…I’m sick of the pimple-faced, arrogant, bedwetting little cocksmoker who owns the “Fire Lou Piniella!” domain (please do NOT give him the pleasure of going to the actual site; I’ll save you the trip and tell you it’s an idiotic link to Cafe Press with a lot of shitty “Fire Lou!” crap) getting traffic on his site thanks to all of my work (screw you, Kermit). Plus, as Kermit mentioned, you freaks are multiplying like roaches, so it’s about damn time Kermit sacked up and got his own domain.
With that said, we’re taking this operation over to Hire Jim Essian! TJBrown deserves mounds and mounds and mounds of praise for coming up with idea for the domain. Guess what? He won’t get it from me. But Kermit told me to mention how much he appreciates not only TJ’s idea, but all of you idiots who keep coming over here and reading, making the new domain a worthwhile enterprise.
A few things about the new site:
- All of the old posts from this site have been transferred over there, so you can go ahead and update your bookmarks to the new site.
- I will still be contributing at the same frequency I was over here. Kermit extended my contract, so I’m making the move. The regular features, such as the Bottom 126, will continue over there.
- We’re in negotiations with Jim Essian, so hopefully we will have three contributors at the new place.
- TJ’s idea is particularly great, because we can adapt with the asshole who replaces me without having to get a new domain. As long as Essian doesn’t die.
- Kermit will try to figure out a way to get this site to redirect to the new one, but if he can’t (and, since he’s a retard, he probably won’t be able to), he wants me to beg you to come over to the new site. So, here goes. I will piss on your toothbrush if you don’t come to the new site.
don’t hope to see you over there.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
Thanks to you fine folks, we’re starting to get a little bit of traffic at Fire Lou Piniella! What this means is that we should probably pursue our own domain name. Here is the problem. Both fireloupiniella.com and fireloupiniella.net are currently registered, and the owners of both sites don’t look to be giving them up anytime soon, even though the sites are pretty much profiting off this site. Don’t go look at them. Just trust me. I’ve tried all kinds of combinations, including firelou.com, among others. I don’t particularly want to have annoying dashes like fire-lou-piniella.com, nor do I want something too long like theofficialfireloupiniella.com (although I might change my mind on that one). Hell, even the misspelled fireloupinella.com is taken.
Here’s what I was thinking. Since you guys are the ones who have to read my nonsense, and since you are the ones who’ve kept me inspired to keep the blog updated, can you guys and gals help me come up with a new domain name?
Since I did this (poorly) with Dusty Baker, and since I’ll most likely continue to do this long after Lou is gone, I’ve been trying to brainstorm some type of generic domain, such as firethecubscoach.com. But, frankly, that sort of sucks.
So, I propose a “Name That Blog!” contest. The prize is nothing but the satisfaction of a job well done. So, you really have no incentive to do help, other than the fact that you might be tired of typing in the currently lengthy domain address. If you have an idea, let’s hear it in the comments section.
We won again. Yay. But our pitching sucks. Boo. But Soriano hit a leadoff homer. Yay. But he high-fives like a homo. Boo.
“Don’t you guys still do the ass-patting thing over here?”
Honestly, if the pitching is going to be this crappy, I’d rather take an extra bat north than a 12th pitcher. I don’t mean a hitter. I mean a wooden bat. And not even a game bat. The one that Trammell uses to hit grounders to Ramirez (or, as Trammell and I call him, “Dorn”).
Speaking of pitching, Miller might be my fifth starter when the dust settles. Why? Did you see Prior pitch the other day? That kid is about as tough as an $80 steak, and as Mike Krukow points out, it’s time to stop putting baby powder on his candy ass. It’s time to put up or shut up, Golden Boy.
I hate walks. Hate ’em. It’s called “hitting,” not “walking,” dude. Nah, I’m just fucking with you. You should have seen the look on your face, though. I do hate walks, but I hate when our pitchers issue them, not when our batters take them. You know who else hates them? Zambrano. So, watch out, walks. If you see me and Big Z walking toward you on the street, you’d better just cross your ass over to the other side, put your head down, and just keep on movin’.
Mr. Fancy Pants Sissy Boy wrote an article about Miller being the 5th starter over at Desipio. If you’re not sick of all the bullshit he shovels around here, you might consider going over there to read it.
Well, I have to get going. I want to get a good seat in the dugout so I can watch Maddux picking his nose with reckless abandon throughout the whole game. Didn’t that guy ever learn there are cameras pointed at those dugouts?
-Sweet Uncle Lou
MESA, Ariz.–Spring Training is a time for pitchers to experiment with pitches they have never thrown before, and for the Cubs pitching staff, it is no different. Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild has been working with the entire Cubs pitching staff in developing a new pitch which he likes to call a “strike.”
“I just figured it was about time some of these guys learned a new pitch,” Rothschild said sleepily. “I know that Zambrano has that nasty slider and Hill has that big curveball, but it’s good to keep the batters on their toes,” he continued, smoothing out his creased pajama top.
“Imagine how much filthier Hill’s breaking ball in the dirt will be if the batter has, in the back of his mind: ‘Hey. It’s possible on this 3-0 pitch that this kid might actually throw a strike,'” Rothschild mused as he wiped crust from the corner of his eye.
Jason Marquis experiments with a “strike” moments before a ball is lined back at his face.
Successfully throwing the new pitch might not be easy.
“It’s a learning process,” Rothschild said, stifling a yawn. “These guys aren’t used to throwing a strike, so there are going to be some problems with it initially. Take Prior, for instance. Every strike he threw the other day got drilled,” Rothschild said as he eased back into a reclined position.
“But don’t worry. He’ll figure it out. And if he doesn’t, he can always go back to throwing balls.”