Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: March 8, 2007

We won again. Yay. But our pitching sucks. Boo. But Soriano hit a leadoff homer. Yay. But he high-fives like a homo. Boo.

Give it up, you big stud!

“Don’t you guys still do the ass-patting thing over here?”

Honestly, if the pitching is going to be this crappy, I’d rather take an extra bat north than a 12th pitcher. I don’t mean a hitter. I mean a wooden bat. And not even a game bat. The one that Trammell uses to hit grounders to Ramirez (or, as Trammell and I call him, “Dorn”).

Speaking of pitching, Miller might be my fifth starter when the dust settles. Why? Did you see Prior pitch the other day? That kid is about as tough as an $80 steak, and as Mike Krukow points out, it’s time to stop putting baby powder on his candy ass. It’s time to put up or shut up, Golden Boy.

I hate walks. Hate ’em. It’s called “hitting,” not “walking,” dude. Nah, I’m just fucking with you. You should have seen the look on your face, though. I do hate walks, but I hate when our pitchers issue them, not when our batters take them. You know who else hates them? Zambrano. So, watch out, walks. If you see me and Big Z walking toward you on the street, you’d better just cross your ass over to the other side, put your head down, and just keep on movin’.

Mr. Fancy Pants Sissy Boy wrote an article about Miller being the 5th starter over at Desipio. If you’re not sick of all the bullshit he shovels around here, you might consider going over there to read it.

Well, I have to get going. I want to get a good seat in the dugout so I can watch Maddux picking his nose with reckless abandon throughout the whole game. Didn’t that guy ever learn there are cameras pointed at those dugouts?

-Sweet Uncle Lou

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9 Responses to “Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: March 8, 2007”


  1. 1 JD, Too March 8, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    Man, that Sulleymoon guy’s back and causin’ more trouble. I think you have a stalker, BK.

  2. 2 Bad Kermit March 8, 2007 at 1:59 pm

    You’re a sly devil, JD. A sly devil.

  3. 3 JD, Too March 8, 2007 at 2:51 pm

    Wow. Gordon Wittenmeyer and Sulleymoon of nsbb must be old friends. There’s some crazy stuff goin’ down over there.

  4. 4 Slaky March 8, 2007 at 6:49 pm

    I wish I could hang out with Gordo and Sulley. What a team! This cross-message board fiasco must never stop.

  5. 5 JD, Too March 8, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!

  6. 6 JD, Too March 8, 2007 at 7:27 pm

    By the way, did anyone see on my blog that Sulleymoon is a really big fan of this site? I guess it’s just BK that he has a problem with and not Lou.

  7. 7 CT March 8, 2007 at 9:15 pm

    So is this Bizarro NSBB?

  8. 8 Sulleymoon March 9, 2007 at 10:37 am

    I am a robot. I love robots. I have a robot vagina.


  1. 1 Lou Get a Clue « Baseball Happenings by David Bloom Trackback on March 9, 2007 at 10:37 am

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