#76: Steve “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the” Buechele

To be fair, Steve Buechele probably wasn’t as bad as you remember him. But to quote the great Walter Sobchak, “Fair? Fair? Who gives a shit about fair?” Find me 10 Cubs fans who watched the team in the early 90s, and I guarantee 9 of them will cringe when the hear the name “Steve Buechele.” You just cringed, didn’t you?

That’s MISTER Buechele to you.

Steve Buechele? Or Chick Gandil from Eight Men Out?

Buechele was the Cubs’ regular third baseman after coming over from Pittsburgh in 1992 in a trade which sent Danny Jackson to the Pirates. Buechele played badly enough that, by 1995, he was released by the Cubs in favor of Todd Zeile. I think that’s the dictionary definition of a “lateral move.”

A good portion of Buchele’s Cub career was spent walking from third base to the plate, taking three strikes, and walking back to third. The rest of his time was spent trying to return the ball to opposing batters with his foot. I’ll give him credit extra hate for having a bit of a Joey Gladstone thing going for him.

Cut it out, Steve. Cut. It. Out.

Low Point: From Buechele’s Wikipedia page, “the 25 times he was hit by a pitch is the 13th highest in the Rangers’ franchise history and his 73 grounded into double plays is the 14th highest.” They then point out that he’s eligible for the Texas Rangers’ Hall of Fame. Nice juxtaposition.

Did You Know? Buechele was one of the hosts and coaches for the Texas Rangers 2006 Media Spring Training. I’m not sure why media needs Spring Training, although I might hire Buechele to tell Gordon Wittenmyer to “take it down a notch.”

12 Responses to “#76: Steve “A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two in the” Buechele”


  1. 1 John March 9, 2007 at 11:42 am

    another stop gap in the revolving door that was 3rd base prior to getting Aramis Ramirez. God we had some shitty 3rd basement!

  2. 2 John March 9, 2007 at 11:43 am

    oooh freudian slip there “3rd basement”

  3. 3 Jon March 9, 2007 at 12:05 pm

    Oh my God…I did cringe…

    Fantastic blog.

  4. 4 Slaky March 9, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    For me, the blonde mullet just never seemed like something that belonged on a competent human being.

  5. 5 KimmyGibler March 9, 2007 at 1:06 pm

    Hey Joey!

  6. 6 Steve Buechele's Wife March 9, 2007 at 2:21 pm

    Low point: How about the time I told him I was pregnant, and he was confused because a few years earlier he had a vasectomy?

  7. 7 JD, Too March 9, 2007 at 2:32 pm

    Slaky, I’m sorry, but I look really handsome in my blonde mullet. The best part is that it never, ever goes out of style.

  8. 8 Andy Pratt March 10, 2007 at 1:36 pm

    Have you guys forgot about me?

  9. 9 Bad Kermit March 10, 2007 at 2:06 pm

    Still 74 to go, Andy (continued at hirejimessian.com). Keep your pants on and your pitches wild…

  10. 10 Dan Serafini June 13, 2007 at 12:31 pm

    Hudson 3-2700

    Suburbs Call Collect

  11. 11 LMSo January 26, 2008 at 12:19 am

    You people suck. Just because your Cubbies suck doesn’t mean Buechele did. We always loved him in Texas and we still do! Luv U Boo!

  12. 12 Wonder July 11, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    Cubbies fans really whine a lot. I see why you never win the big one.

    A guy that had a .975 fielding percentage, tied for the highest third baseman in Cubs history, and batted .279 was good production during that time.

    If you have no pitching, no hitting and non-baseball, all business management you don’t win. That’s the Cubs.


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The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

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3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

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8. Jeff Blauser

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14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

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