I think there may be a fair number of you who have “The Bottom 126” tagged who may not have gotten the news that The Bottom 126 (along with the rest of this crazy operation) has moved to Hire Jim Essian! The content at the new domain is going to be virtually identical to the content here, so please update your bookmarks. Oh, and I also tagged this entry with every other tag, just in case you have one of those tagged. Hope to see you at the new site.
Archive for the 'Big Z' Category
The Cubs and Carlos Zambrano agreed to a one-year, $12.4M contract Tuesday. Arbitration lives to fight another day.
CHICAGO–Arbitration is scheduled for Tuesday between Carlos Zambrano and the Chicago Cubs. And Arbitration is not happy about it.
“Are you kidding me? I don’t want that lunatic [Zambrano] coming to an arbitration hearing!” Arbitration said in an interview on Monday. “I bet he’s the type who makes his points more emphatic by beating on the conference table,” a shaking Arbitration said. “I just can’t handle that type of abuse.”
“We have a good track record of avoiding Arbitration,” Cubs general manager Jim Hendry said. “There has been no history of Arbitration trying to avoid us, but we’ll see what we can get worked out.”
“Hendry and I had a deal!” a frantic Arbitration yelled. “He didn’t let Farnsworth anywhere near me, and it should be the same for all of these lunatic pitchers! I wouldn’t mind Prior. He probably calmly reads his good qualities from a yellow-lined legal pad and just cries if he doesn’t get his way, but keep Zambrano the hell away from me!”
Arbitration is spending his time between now and tomorrow in his office with the lights off and the blinds closed.
CHICAGO–Cubs ace Carlos Zambrano issued an ultimatum this week, saying that he will leave unless the Cubs sign him before the 2007 season.
During the interview, Zambrano referred to himself in two different ways in the third person, accidentally creating two new entities. “Whatever happens, I don’t want to know [anything] about a contract during the season. I want to sign with the Cubs before the season starts,” Zambrano said in the interview. “If they don’t sign me, sorry, but I must go. That’s what Carlos Zambrano thinks,” Zambrano said, looking over his shoulder at a smiling Carlos Zambrano, who nodded approvingly.
“[Cubs general manager] Jim [Hendry] spent a lot of money. I hope he has more for ‘Big Z,'” Zambrano added, as “Big Z” pantomimed a throat-cutting motion to Zambrano.
Pictured (left to right): Carlos Zambrano, Carlos Zambrano (with “R”s properly rolled), and Big Z
Hendry feels that the Cubs will get the deal with Zambrano done, but is not sure whether there will be similar deals for “Carlos Zambrano” and “Big Z.” “We’ll see what we can get done,” Hendry said. “We could certainly use a legitimate number 2 and number 3 starter, and if these two guys can pitch like Zambrano, we’d love to have them.”
MLB.com writer Jim Molony thinks that Cubs ace Carlos Zambrano has the potential to win 20 games in 2007. Upon hearing the news Zambrano, who has spent the offseason living at the rim of Mauna Loa, an active volcano in the Hawaiian Islands, scoffed. “Thinks?” Zambrano asked, shifting from one foot to another to alleviate the intense heat rising from the molten rock flowing just underground. “He’s full of Molony. He must ‘think’ that the earth is round and that the sun rises in the east,” Zambrano continued, crunching on a piece of volcanic rock for nutrition.
“I will win 33 games in 2007, not including the playoffs,” Zambrano declared as a bird flying overhead dropped dead at his feet from the intense heat. Zambrano quickly devoured the bird. “If there is one thing that living on this volcano has taught me, it’s that I haven’t been tough enough in the past, which has caused me to lose games,” Zambrano continued, deeply inhaling the toxic mixture of hydrogen sulphide and hydrogen chloride spewing from the mouth of the volcano.
“In 2007, I will not lose,” Zambrano concluded, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow as one reporter’s eyeballs melted in their sockets. “I guarantee it.”
CHICAGO–Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano asked for $15.5M in 2007. The Cubs offered $11.025M.
Pay the man what he’s worth, Jim. If Theodore Roosevelt Lilly is worth $10M/year, Biz Z is a steal at $15.5M/year.
After the Barry Zito signing, many Cubs fans are up in arms about whether the Cubs will be able to retain the soon-to-be-very-expensive Carlos Zambrano. Zito is durable, but if he is $18-million-per-year good, expect Carlos Zambrano to get- well- more than that. Substantially more.
LUKE: The reward would be-
LUKE: Well, more wealth that you can imagine.
HAN: I don’t know. I can imagine quite a bit.
There’s no really interesting news around baseball, so Fire Lou Piniella! would like to wish you a happy and safe New Year’s Eve/Day.