I think there may be a fair number of you who have “The Bottom 126” tagged who may not have gotten the news that The Bottom 126 (along with the rest of this crazy operation) has moved to Hire Jim Essian! The content at the new domain is going to be virtually identical to the content here, so please update your bookmarks. Oh, and I also tagged this entry with every other tag, just in case you have one of those tagged. Hope to see you at the new site.
Archive for the 'Joe Buck Says “Thanks for Getting Me This Job Dad”' Category
While still recovering from a holiday-induced haze, “Fire Lou Piniella!” got a rare opportunity to get an advanced look at Lou Piniella’s list of New Year’s Resolutions. Enjoy.
- Find out if Rothschild has ever actually worn a Cubs jersey under those stupid pajamas he wears to games.
- Return Steve Lyons’ wallet.
- Cut back on the word “c@#$sucker.” Increase usage of phrase, “bunch of c@#$smoking losers.”
- Quit reassuring Hendry that Jason Marquis doesn’t suck.
- Finish my autobiography, Living Among Assholes: The Lou Piniella Story.
- Fewer temper tantrums, more conniption fits.
- Stop hiding my keys and wallet in Trammell’s face.
- Be more politically correct, so that mick interim president gets off my back.
- Lose a few pounds. Christ, I’m starting to look like Hendry.
- Punch Joe Buck in the face with Tim McCarver’s severed hand.
I haven’t been watching the playoffs. I hate the Mets. I hate the Cardinals. My backup AL team, the Twins, got swept by Frank Thomas, who I hate. I made the mistake of briefly tuning in last night, though, for a brief 15 minutes. Long enough to hear Joe Buck make two of the stupidest comments I’ve ever heard in my life (and I taught high school science for two years):
- Buck commented that the Pirates were probably kicking themselves for letting Oliver Perez go. Go ahead. Click the link. Do you really think, Joe, that the Pirates are upset that they let that 3-13 record on the “best team” in the NL, 6.55 ERA, and 1.75 WHIP go? Really? Yeah, Perez pitched a nice game last night, but don’t you think one game is a pretty small sample size? When there’s a danger that Darren Oliver might start a Game 7 over you, you pretty much suck at life.
- Endy Chavez made a great, home-run-robbing catch. A great, great catch. Immediately after, Joe inquired, “Have you ever seen better?” Do you even watch baseball, you smarmy asshole? Yes, I’ve seen better, you tit. Hell, I’ve seen better this year.
There’s a difference between making a moment dramatic and dealing in ridiculous hyperbole. Why didn’t one of these guys just punch you in the throat?
Also, Joe, we know you’re that dick, Greg Marmalard, from Animal House. Stop pretending you’re not.
Marmalard (on left). Dick. Joe Buck. Dick. Coincidence?
What does this have to do with Piniella? When he was working for Fox, he had numerous opportunities to humiliate Buck and, while he was at it, Tim McCarver on air, and he failed to take them. For this, you suck, Lou.