Archive for the 'Stupid A-Rod Rumors' Category

The Bottom 126 Continues on HireJimEssian.com!

I think there may be a fair number of you who have “The Bottom 126” tagged who may not have gotten the news that The Bottom 126 (along with the rest of this crazy operation) has moved to Hire Jim Essian! The content at the new domain is going to be virtually identical to the content here, so please update your bookmarks. Oh, and I also tagged this entry with every other tag, just in case you have one of those tagged. Hope to see you at the new site.

With Jeter Out of Way, A-Rod Strives to Make Piniella Sound Gay

Bob Raissman would have you believe that new Cubs manager Lou Piniella loves Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez from his frosted tips to his twinkle toes. Of course, Bob Raissman is an old timey-weightlifter.

Let us do some thirty kilogram lifts!  Hup!  Hup! Hup!Hup!  Hup! Hup!

“Twelve repetitions on each side, Cornelius! Ready? Hup! Hup! Hup!”

Raissman’s article suggests that when Piniella was managing Rodriguez in Seattle, Piniella kissed him, sat in his underwear with him until 2:30-3:00 a.m. to talk about his “swing,” and cried when he left Seattle.

The Good: Rodriguez can opt out of his contract with the Yankees at the end of this season, and Raissman makes it seem that he would like to reunite with his former manager.

The Bad: Piniella and Rodriguez apparently had the same slumber parties that Derek Jeter and Rodriguez had.

The Ugly: Piniella in his underwear.

Piniella Wants to Bring Back A-Rod, Rothschild, Dutch Boy Haircuts

CHICAGO–Lou Piniella was officially announced as the new manager of the Chicago Cubs Tuesday afternoon. Piniella has mentioned his desire to bring Alex Rodgriguez to the Cubs and to retain Larry Rothschild as a pitching coach ruiner.

Piniella Thumbs-Up

 

What is your opinion on Rothschild, Lou?

Once those plans are in place, Piniella hopes to bring back bellbottoms, segregated bathrooms, and the Dutch Boy haircut.

Dutch Boy

 

Ter-ri-fying.

 

Piniella as Dutch Boy

 

Sweet Lou? More like sweet do!

It is unlikely that the frugal Cubs will do anything to get Rodriguez, the highest-paid player in baseball, even though the Texas Rangers are still paying a portion of his salary. The Cubs are, however, likely to bring back Rothschild, who was a holdover from the Don Baylor disaster era, and who has not yet destroyed the careers of at least one or two Cub pitching prospects.

It is unlikely that the Cubs will be able to influence any rebirth of bellbottom pants, segregated bathrooms, or the Dutch Boy haircut at Piniella’s request. Cubs interim president John McDonough did mention, however, that he will be contacting Piniella about the possibility of Dutch Boy purchasing advertising space on Piniella’s head.


Who is Lou offending today?

Ozzie Guillen, mang.

How Angry Is Lou Today?

Lou! Hot as a Kerry Wood fastball.

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The Bottom 126 Cubs of My Lifetime

1. Todd Hundley

2. Neifi Perez

3. Alex Gonzalez

4. LaTroy Hawkins

5. Fred McGriff

6. Corey Patterson

7. Mel Rojas

8. Jeff Blauser

9. Antonio Alfonseca

10. Juan Pierre

11. Shawn Estes

12. Felix Heredia

13. Julian Tavarez

14. Kyle Farnsworth

15. Mark Prior

16. Kent Mercker

17. Moises Alou

18. Dave Veres

19. Jose Macias

20. Lenny Harris

21. Jose Hernandez

22. Jacque Jones

23. The Unnamed Pitchers of the 90s

24. Freddy Bynum

25. Jerry Hairston, Jr.

26. Scott Williamson

27. Tony Womack

28. Andy Pratt

29. Will Ohman

30. Phil Nevin

31. Jeff Fassero

32. Ronny Cedeno

33. Brant Brown

34. Roosevelt Brown

35. Jason Dubois

36. Wade Miller

37. Mark Guthrie

38. Sergio Mitre

39. Juan Cruz

40. Gabor Paul II Bako

41. Ryan Dempster

42. Mike Remlinger

43. Glendon Rusch

44. Nomar Garciaparra

45. Gary Matthews, Jr.

46. Matt Clement

47. Gary Gaetti

48. Bobby Hill

49. Benito Santiago

50. Jerome Williams

51. Roberto Novoa

52. David Kelton

53. Todd Wellemeyer

54. Shane Andrews

55. Darrin Jackson

56. Frank DiPino/Terry Francona

57. John Mabry

58. Curtis Wilkerson

59. Hee Seop Choi

60. Cesar Izturis

61. Rick Wilkins

62. Jon Garland

63. Augie Ojeda

64. Jerome Walton

65. Jae Kuk Ryu

66. Todd Hollandsworth

67. Karl "Tuffy" Rhodes

68. Willie Greene

69. Michael Tucker

70. Damon Berryhill

71. Jon Leicester

72. Mitch Webster

73. Curtis/Tom Goodwin

74. Jody Gerut

75. Jim Sundberg

76. Steve Buechele

77. Darren Lewis

78. Rey Ordonez

79. Marvell Wynne

80. Tyler Houston

81. Amaury Telemaco

82. Kevin Roberson

83. Damian Jackson

84. Doug Dascenzo

85. Ismael Valdez

86. Matt Karchner

87. Jeff Huson

88. Jose Nieves

89. Ross Gload

90. Chad Hermansen

91. Luis Salazar

92. Mike Hubbard

93. Delino DeShields

94. Matt Lawton

95. Howard Johnson

96. Rondell White

97. Turk Wendell

98. Ray King

99. Gary Scott

100. Steve Rain

101. Kevin Orie

102. Rey Sanchez

103. Francis Beltran

104. Paul Noce

105. Enrique Wilson

106. Ruben Quevedo

107. Damon Buford

108. Brooks Kieschnick

109. Damian Miller

110. Scott Bullett

111. Rick Aguilera

112. Chad Meyers

113. Gary Varsho

114. Jason Bere

115. Troy O'Leary

116. Chico Walker

117. Rick Wrona

118. Leo Gomez

119. Chris Stynes

120. Dan Plesac

121. Robert Machado

122. Julio Zuleta

123. Todd Zeile

124. Chad Fox

125. Adam Greenberg

126. Sandy Martinez

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